


You Are More Than Enough

by A_Suga_Cookie



Category: NCT (Band), WAYV
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, BEST BOY KUN, BEST BOY TAEIL, Blood and Injury, Boyfriends, Crying, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Good Leader Qian Kun, I Tried, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, Idols, M/M, Mentioned NCT 127 Ensemble, Mentioned NCT Dream Ensemble, Mentioned NCT Ensemble, Mentioned WayV Ensemble, Mild Language, Minor Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Not Beta Read, Qian Kun-centric, Self-Doubt, Sick Qian Kun, Soft Moon Taeil, Tired Qian Kun, What Have I Done, alot of crying:(, its not too bad though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:02:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25647748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Suga_Cookie/pseuds/A_Suga_Cookie
Summary: "He finally was going to be able to properly debut and be known more than just “the guy in the back from NCT”. Kun can now proudly say he is WayV’s proud and fearless leader".“Do you think I’ll be good enough?”, Kun mumbles softly into Taeil’s chest as he feels his heart clench.Taeil cups Kun’s face gently as he wipes away Kun’s astray tears. He places a kiss tenderly on Kun’s temple and looks at him fondly.“You are more than enough Kunnie”."When Kun learned he was the oldest, he knew that the responsibility of taking care of the boys would rest on his shoulders. He took it upon himself to become a parental figure for them; always buying them food, comforting them when they are upset or homesick, staying up all night when one of them got sick, helping them when they needed advice or lost something. He knows he is annoying, but he just cares about them:.Or one day, the stress of being an idol and a leader gets to Kun and Taeil is there to remind him that he is more than enough.
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), Moon Taeil/Qian Kun, Qian Kun/Everyone
Comments: 8
Kudos: 110





	You Are More Than Enough

**Author's Note:**

> T/N: There are mentions of anxiety attacks and bleeding. If you are sensitive to these topics or they are triggered by these topicS, please do not read this fanfic. Your mental health comes first! ENJOY!
> 
> \- ASC ❀◐⌣◐

When Kun was told that he would be debuting in WayV as their leader, He was truly over the moon. After 4 years of saying goodbye to his parents and his life back in China, being degraded to nothing but a “glorified background dancer” in “Black on Black”, and suffering through long hours of nonstop arduous, exhausting practice only to be ignored by the company altogether, He was finally going to debut in his own fixed unit with 6 of closest friends. It was all worth it. All the pain and suffering. All the nights he would cry himself to sleep, doubting himself endlessly. All the highs and lows. The times he almost quit and walked away from everything if it wasn't for Renjun or Chenle holding him back physically. Those times seemed like a distant memory of the past. He really felt like he was in a dream that he never wants to wake up from, but he wasn’t. This was his reality. He finally was going to be able to properly debut and be known more than just “the guy in the back from NCT”. Kun can now proudly say he is WayV’s avid and fearless leader.

He remembers the exact moment he walked out of the CEO’s office and saw Taeil waiting for him. Taeil looks up from his phone and smiles as he opens his arms. Kun takes the offer gratefully as he lunges himself into the oldest arms, causing them both to stumble back against the wall.

Taeil giggles as he hugs Kun back and kisses his forehead delicately. 

“What happened, baby? It must be good news since you look like you are about to burst with happiness”. 

Kun looks up Taeil with excitement brimming from his eyes, bouncing on his toes as he stares straight into his boyfriend’s eyes.

“Hyung, I’m going to debut in WayV as their leader”!

Taeil’s smile brightly as he squeezes the younger cheeks, causing the latter to squeal and blush.

“Congratulations Kunnie! I’m so happy for you”! 

Kun leans in to kiss Taeil softly, smiling gently as he melts into Taeil’s lips. Taeil returns the kiss softly as he wraps his hands loosely around Kun’s waist, tasting the cherry of some chapstick the stylist put on him earlier.

“I’m going to miss seeing you all the time”, Taeil mumbles sadly against his lips when they broke the kiss. 

Kun buried himself closer into Taeil, feeling the elder's warmth engulf him tightly and the smell of Taeil’s cologne comforting his now heavy heart. He really was going to miss being with Taeil every day. NCT 2018 promotions were coming to an steady end and WayV had to leave in a few weeks to start promotions in China. He was going to be there for at least 6 months before he even has a chance of returning to Korea. 

“I’m going to miss you a lot too Taeil Hyung”, Kun whimpers as he tries to blink away the tears burning his eyes.

Taeil rubs his hands up and down in comforting circles on Kun’s back as he rests his head on his and kisses Kun’s head, trying to solace him. 

“Don’t cry Kunnie, it’s okay. I’ll call you every night okay? ”. 

Kun looks up at him with his eyes slightly swollen and glossy from the tears and his cheeks adorably red as he sniffles. 

“Promise?”

Taeil cooes at the younger as he pinches his cheeks. 

“Promise”.

“Do you think I’ll be good enough?”, Kun mummers softly into Taeil’s chest as he feels his heart clench, tracing circles gently on Taeil's chest to relieve the sinking feeling in him. 

Taeil cups Kun’s face gently as he wipes away the younger's astray tears. He places a kiss tenderly on Kun’s temple and looks at him fondly. 

“You are more than enough Kunnie”.

~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋

Kun grumbles in his sleep when he feels someone shaking his shoulders vigorously.

“Gege? Wake up”, a voice says softly as the unknown stranger continues to shake his shoulder. 

Kun finally cracks open his eyes as he sees Xiaojun hovering over him, smiling brightly at him. He never understood how someone can be so energetic and happy in the morning without a cup of coffee. Cue his favorite dinosaur-like human, Xiao Dejun.

“Good Morning Kun-Ge”, singsongs Xiaojun as he sits against the edge of Kun’s bed. Kun rubs his eyes, trying to get rid of the tiredness in them. 

“G” morning Dejunnie”, Kun slurs as he feels Xiaojun help him up to a sitting position, thanking Xiaojun afterward. The younger one of the two gives Kun a quick hug before he gets up to go wake up the others. 

“Get ready Ge, we have practice today”. 

Kun groans in response as he hears the younger close the door. He slumps back against his bed frame. They just came back from China a few days ago so everyone was still pretty jetlagged. 

Especially Kun.

Besides getting ready for a comeback, Kun has been crammed in his studio, composing and mixing music, writing lyrics, and meeting up with all different kinds of producers for their new album. He hasn’t gotten any more than 3 hours of proper rest or sleeps in the last few days. trying to perfect the soundtrack in time for their comeback. All while bearing the responsibility of being a leader and the oldest in the group.

The stress was clearly taking a toll on him as Kun coughs harshly a few times, his throat felt extremely sore and raw like sandpaper rubbing against his throat. He feels his body ache dully. He winces as his head pounds lightly as he reaches up to massage his sore temples. 

“Shit, I can’t get sick now”, Kun curses to himself as he closes his eyes and places his face in his palms, little colors popping into his vision. 

Kun groggily gets out of bed and hisses when the cold floor comes in contact with the sole of his feet. He sways side to side as he gripped the edge of his bed, trying to make the world stop spinning. Kun sighs tiredly as he drags his feet and stumbles clumsily into his bathroom. He fumbles blindly for the light switch as he turns to face himself in the mirror. He was horrified by what he saw.

His eyes were bloodshot from the lack of sleep and his dark circles were very apparent in contrast to his paling and dulling skin. His face was slightly bloated and his under bags were extremely swollen. His lips were chapped and drained of its normal rose-pinkish color. 

He looks awful. 

He sighs deeply as he turns on the faucet, watching the water flow out and splash in the porcelain sink. He cups his hand under the waterfall, his hands filling up quickly with the frigid liquid. He splashes his face and gasps from the sudden jolt of the cold water that was now dripping down from his face onto the bathroom counter. He shakes his head as he blindly reaches for a towel.

Kun had a feeling that today was going to be a very long and rough day. 

~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋

The aroma of garlic and a variation of different spices fill the dorm as Kun hovers over a pot of Congee boiling over on the stove. He stirs it a few times, watching the concoction thicken. He adds a bit more salt before tasting it, smiling before turning off the stove as the fire dies down. 

As Kun started setting up the table, everyone started to file into the living room, some sleepily mumbling “Good morning”. He felt a slightly taller body against his as a pair of arms snakes against his waist. He chuckles softly as he feels the owner nuzzle into his shoulder, their hair tickles against Kun’s nape. 

“Hi Hendery”, he says fondly as he sets down the last pair of utensils. Hendery doesn't say anything, he just sighs and buries his face deeply into Kun’s shoulder. Kun grew a bit worried as the younger wasn’t usually this clingy unless he was upset or stressed out about something. He ruffles Hendery’s already messy bed hair and thumbs the younger biceps in comforting strokes. Kun decides to ask the younger man about it later. 

“Sit down, breakfast is ready”, he says softly as he places the sleepy boy into one of the chairs. He calls out to the other 5 boys to come and eat as he reaches for the hefty bag of pet food and a jug of water. As everyone sat around the table, a conversation began to flow naturally as Kun crouches and places Bella’s, Louis’s, and Leon's bowls on the floor. He gets up, groaning as his knees creak beneath him and looks back at the table when he notes that something was wrong with the scene in front of him. 

It was normally very noisy in the morning at the WayV’s dorm with all 7 men trying to say something at the same time. Not to mention they they are now pet parents to 2 cats and a dog. However, he notices one of them was abnormally silent while picking at his food. He was disengaged from the conversation in front of him as he kept his eyes down.

Kun wipes his hands on his pants as he walks toward the table and places his hand gently against their shoulder. 

“Xuxi? Are you okay?”, Kun says softly as the younger startles and jerks from his seat. Xuxi simply just opt to nod his head fiercely as he continues to poke his spoon at the rice porridge. 

Kun frowns slightly. Xuxi was usually never this quiet. He usually was like an overly large puppy, his loud, deep, and booming voice echoing over the others as he is usually always laughing about something Hendery or Ten would say or telling Kun a animated story about one of his activities. 

“Is it food? Do you not like it?”

Xuxi shakes his head yet again as he grips his spoon tighter. However, Kun didn’t notice as he continued to question him. 

“Did you sleep last night?”

Xuxi sighs sharply as he clenches his jaw and completely ignores Kun all together. 

Kun huffs as he stares at the back of Xuxi’s head in confusion. The younger always come to him when something is bothering him. It was very out of character for Xuxi to completely neglect Kun like this. Something must be serious with Xuxi. Kun bites his lips nervously as he feels his mind racing with different kinds of ideas. He tries one more time as he squeezes Xuxi’s shoulder delicately. 

“Xuxi. You can talk to me. I can help y-”. 

“JUST SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY”!

Everyone pauses what they were doing at the table and looks at Xuxi in utter shock. Deadly silence engulfs the room uncomfortably as Kun blinks his eyes in dismay, trying to process what just happened. Everyone looks cautiously between Xuxi’s enraged expression and Kun's dismal face. Kun stays frozen in his place as he goes numb in shock. Xuxi has never once ever raised his voice at him like this, let alone curse at him. 

“Huang Xuxi! Kun-Ge is older than you! He is just trying to help you! Show some respect!”, Sicheng scolds as he glares at him with anger and disappointment. 

Xuxi slams the table in anger, causing the table and the dishes to rattle violently. Everyone looks at each other with their breaths held. He throws his chair back and harshly slaps Kun’s hand away from his shoulder. The sounds echo through the dorm as some of the members gasp. Kun retracts his now painfully red and trembling hand as he whimpers quietly, backing away slightly from the now fuming Xuxi. 

“NO SICHENG-GE, HE IS NOT! HE NEEDS TO STOP NAGGING ALL THE DAMN TIME! YOU AREN’T MY DAD! SERIOUSLY! I DIDN’T WANT TO TALK AND YOU KEEP ON ANNOYING ME!”, Xuxi yells loudly as he stomps his feet childishly against the wooden floor and strides toward his room, banging his door forcefully. 

A painful quietness followed as the members at each other speechlessly their breakfast completely forgotten in front of them before Hendery finally spoke up quietly.

“I’ll go check on him”, he says as he gets up from his chair and walks toward Xuxi’s door, squeezing Kun’s shoulder, as if trying to give him some form of condolement. 

Kun heard someone whisper a very soft “Kun-Ge?”. He felt another pair of arms, that he recognizes as Yangyang’s, guide him into a empty chair. 

“Gege, don’t mind what he said. He is probably just stressed out with the comeback and with SuperM activities coming up so quickly”, Xiaojun urges as he holds Kun’s bruised hand and gently messages between his knuckles. 

“Eat Ge. We have practice in an hour. He will come around. Don’t worry!”, Sicheng speaks up afterward as he pushes a bowl of lukewarm congee toward him.

Kun sighs deeply as he slips his hand out of Xiaojun as he reassures the younger that he was fine. He rubs his eyes quietly as he looks down at the rice porridge. Kun lost his appetite but he knew that it would be hypocritical of him to not eat while nagging his didis to do the same, especially Xuxi. 

“I’ll talk to him later when he cools down. Please finish eating. Sicheng is right, we have practice in an hour”, Kun says coolly as he weakly picks up a spoon and he digs it into the porridge, avoiding the eye contact of the other members. 

~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋

After breakfast, everyone broke into their rooms to get changed and ready for practice. Kun stays back to quickly wash the dishes and places them in the sink gingerly. He stares back at Xuxi’s unfinished bowl and runs his hand through his hair tiredly. He didn’t want the younger male to go hungry during practice. He rumbles through the shelf for a plastic Tupperware and dumps the rest of the porridge into it. 

He closes the lid, hearing it click before Kun reaches over for a sticky note and grabs one of Ten’s astray art pens. He opens the cap and scribbles a note before sticking it on top of the Tupperware. 

~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋

Xuxi, 

I packed some Congee for you. I don’t know what is going on but I am really sorry for upsetting you this morning. You can always talk to me no matter what the issue is whenever you are ready to. 

~Kun-Ge

~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋

Kun walks toward the rack where all of their backpacks are and unzips Xuxi’s. He places the container gingerly between his laptop and spare clothes before he zips it again. Kun felt his legs grow heavy all of a sudden as he slid down the adjutant peeling wall. He fidgets with the bracelet on his wrist as he tilts his head back and closes his exhausted eyes. 

When Kun learned he was the oldest, he knew that the responsibility of taking care of the boys would rest on his shoulders. He took it upon himself to become a parental figure for them; always buying them food, comforting them when they are upset or homesick, staying up all night when one of them gets sick, helping them when they needed advice or lost something. He always tries to be patient with them, even when they lose their temper and yell at him. They can insult him over and over again and Kun would just simply smile and offer his shoulder for them to cry on. He knows he is annoying, but he just cares about them. 

He isn’t perfect but Kun really gives it his all to be the best role model and older brother he can be for them.

Maybe his best isn’t good enough. 

~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋

The car ride was extremely awkward and cumbersome. The tension could easily be cut with a knife. Xuxi was sitting in the front of the van with their manager, his headphones in his ears while ignoring everyone else. Sicheng, Hendery, and Xiaojun sat in the middle row, whispering about something among themselves about something Xiaojun showed the other two something on his phone. Ten, Yangyang, and Kun settled for the back of the car.

Yangyang fell asleep on his shoulders as the music from his headphones played lightly from them. Kun felt his head pound as he closed his eyes, trying to get rid of the pain. He cautiously snakes his arm under the seat without trying to wake up Yangyang. He opens his bag and shifts through his stuff as he looks for the little bottle of painkillers he kept in there. After a few seconds of looking and coming up with no avail but an empty bottle, he groans softly. He forgot to buy more painkillers after he gave his last one to Hendery. He drops his bag haphazardly as he leans back into the seat, massaging his temples. 

He turns to Ten, who also had his headphones in and was threading his fingers through Yangyang’s hair absentmindedly. 

“Ten?”, he barely whispers, wincing slightly when his head throbs. 

The second oldest of the group pauses the song he was listening to on his phone and removes his headphones. Ten turns as he leans in to face Kun. 

“What’s up Kun?”, he whispers back. 

“ I was wondering if you have any painkillers?”, Kun asked quietly. 

Ten frowns slightly he shakes his head. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t. Are you okay?” 

Kun noticed how soft his voice went as the younger had a very concerned look plastered on his face. Kun reached over to pat Ten’s hand, careful to not accidentally hit Yangyang. 

“I’m okay”. 

“Are you sure?”

They both pause as they watch Yangyang grumble in his sleep and snuggle deeper into Kun’s shoulder, sighing contentedly. Kun smiles softly as he thumbs the youngest bangs out of his eyes, turning his attention back to Ten afterward. 

“Yes, Ten. I’m okay”. 

Ten gives him a suspicious look before he squeezes his hand warmly and returns back to his phone. Kun knew that Ten didn’t believe him. He didn’t miss the little glances Ten was receiving from him. He is so exhausted but he didn’t want to be the reason the team falls behind because of him. He doesn’t want to be any more of a burden than he already is. He can’t. He is supposed to be the leader and he is over here whining over a tiny headache. He just has to push through today and he can go back to his warm, awaiting bed. 

He always has to be the strong pillar for WayV, even when he is cracking under the surface.

Bit by bit. 

~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋

After what seems like a year-long car ride, they arrive at the studio. Kun wobbles out of the car unsteadily. He waits for everyone to get out of the car as he scrolls through his phone. He had a few missed calls and text messages from Taeil and from his parents. He was about to type something when suddenly, he felt someone hit his shoulder rather hard, causing him to stumble backward into a pair of lanky yet robust arms. 

“Ge, careful”, Hendery says quietly behind Kun as he grips him, stabilizing him.

Kun thanks him softly as he watches the back of Xuxi’s head hastily rush into the studio, not even sparing a glance. 

Kun sighs heavily as slowly starts walking in the same direction, readjusting his backpack on his shoulder, 

“I just have to get through today. You got this Kun”. 

~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋

Kun cringes as his voice cracks again for what seemed like the 200th time. The painful, dry, scratchy feeling in his throat nag at him achingly as he coughs harshly. He rubs his face in frustration when he hears the music stops again. The intercom beep before he hears a slightly exasperated voice. 

“Kun, what the hell is going on? Why are you so off today?”, the producer says sharply as he rubs his forehead in irritation. Ten was right next to him, tapping his fingers against the wooden table and was giving him a look he had never seen from the younger before. 

Disappointment? Pity? Irritation?

Kun swallows painfully as he talks into the microphone, his hands shaking slightly in sudden nervousness. 

“I-I’m sorry”, he says hoarsely, his voice breaking pitying from both overuse and sickness. 

The producer sighs direly as he turns on the music and looks at the poor boy coolly. 

“Start again from the chorus”. 

~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋

Kun was doing great until the outro of the song. He was trying to push his voice as much as he could to just make it to the end of his part. He starts to sing his last line when his damn voice breaks horribly on the last note. 

Dreads fills Kun as he hears the music cut harshly, a tense silence filling the studio. The sound that Kun could hear was his heart thumping erratically against his chest. He knew he was in trouble. 

The intercom screeches as a new voice angrily reverberates out loudly, yelling at him. 

“KUN, WHAT HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU TODAY?”

It was Ten. 

“Ten, I-I-I’m sorry I-”, Kun stutters, cursing when his voice breaks horribly as he feels his cheeks up unpleasantly. 

Ten angrily runs his hand through his hair, breathing heavily through the mic. 

“STOP APOLOGIZING! IT ISN’T GOING TO DO ANYTHING! YOU AREN’T THE ONLY ONE WHO IS TIRED! SHIT, SOME OF US HAVEN’T SLEPT IN DAYS KUN! I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU BUT SERIOUSLY FIX IT, DUDE”!

Kun looked down at his feet as shame filled him. His eyes burn as he blinks rapidly as he avoids eye contact with the producer and Ten. He bit his bottom lip, trying to stop it from wobbling. Sure, Ten and he bicker all the time and play fight but he didn’t expect him to actually yell at him in front of the producer and get so angry and annoyed at him. 

The producer exhales tiredly as he reaches for his cup of coffee and takes a sip. He holds his hand up to stop Ten from saying anything else. 

“Ten, that's enough”. He then looks at Kun through his glasses unkindly as he adjusts them straight. 

“Kun, let’s take a break. Get something for your throat. We will start again at 15”. 

Kun nods shamefully as he removes the headphones and rushes out of the recording studio, trying to ignore the ornery glares Ten was giving him. 

~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋

He falls onto a tiny coughing hit as he grips the edge of the couch and reaches for the cup of tea he made. Kun sighs as the warm liquid smooths his aching throat as his hands warm against the cup of Lemon Tea. He was about to take another sip when he heard some of the producers' murmuring about something brokenly through the walls. 

“Change Kun’s part and give it to Xiaojun. He would sound better doing it anyway”. 

Kun felt his heart drop into his stomach as he played with the cough drop in his hand. Disappointment tingles through him as he leans back into the couch, groaning softly into it. 

He knew he was the weakest vocalist among himself, Xiaojun, and Ten. He gets told it all the time by different kinds of people, comparing him to the other two. It doesn’t help that his throat feels like it's rubbing against sandpaper. He doesn’t blame the younger two though. They worked very hard for their positions and Kun is very proud of them. His soft voice never matches WayV’s very strong vocals and concept. He is always the one who struggles the most during recordings and only leaves defeated and done with himself every single time. His member must be so frustrated with his useless self. 

How can he blame people who call him “mediocre at best” when he can’t even get through a recording session without his voice breaking every two seconds? 

He pops the cough drop frustratingly into his mouth, the bitter, horrible cherry-flavored candy coating his mouth. 

“Pull yourself together. We still have dance practice”, Kun mummers quietly to himself. 

~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋

Kun hunch over as he grips his knees weakly, sweat dripping profusely from his forehead. Heavy panting fills the room as the other members glare at him varying expressions to concern to annoyance to even partial disgust. He heard Xuxi scoff and shake his head as Kun hangs his head in an abashing manner. 

Saying that dance practice was going to hell for Kun is a huge overstatement. 

It was a whole shitshow of a disaster. 

He keeps on making little mistakes and forgetting bits of the choreography. Kun can feel himself getting more and more sluggish the more and more they keep dance. His headache was back, pounding dully against his head. Exhaustion was getting the better of him as he tried to blink away the black dots appearing in his vision, his eyes going in and out of focus. He could feel everyone getting more and more irritated with him by the way they were glaring at him with every mistake he made. 

He felt someone thump his back and rub his sweaty back up and down comfortably. He looks up and sees a tired and flushed Xiaojun smiling at him brightly. Bless this kid. Xiaojun is always smiling no matter how tired or upset he is. The latter retracts his hand almost immediately and gives a disgusted look at it. 

“Ew gege, you're all sweaty”, Xiaojun grumbles as he wipes his hand against Kun’s side. Kun exhaustingly giggles at the younger’s antics as he swats Xiaojun’s forearm weakly and watches the younger skip over to Sicheng. Sicheng looks him in the eyes and gives him a little thumbs up. Kun smiles gently back at him. At least, those two weren’t mad at him. At least he would like to think so after today’s unfortunate events. 

The dance instructor's voice interrupted his thoughts, telling them to get back into position. Kun stumbles to his spot as his legs shake slightly under him. He tries to ignore the exhaustion waving through his body as he waits for the music to start. 

“Just get through this and you will be able to go home soon”

The music started and he started to move his body to the beat. It was going okay. As he was moving across the room, he accidentally bumps into Ten, receiving a glare from their choreographer. He tries to shake it off as he keeps dancing. Finally, the chorus came where he was the center. He makes his way when a loud “boom” echoes through the room. 

Kun wasn’t paying attention and managed to trip over his shoelace, causing him to fall face forward hard onto the Marley floor. The music stops as angry and irritated groans filled up the room, someone yelling his name. Kun felt his head throbbing against his temples as he hisses at the newly registered pain radiating through his now bruised knees, his palms red from the impact of his fall. 

“QIAN KUN”!

A harsh and extremely seethed voice shouted through the room as everything around him grew very quiet. 

“STAND UP! ALL OF YOU, LINE UP”. 

Kun whimpers quietly as he stands up takingly and lines up with the others. He turned to see Ten clenching and unclenching his jaw and was looking straight ahead, completely ignoring the pain in Kun’s eyes. He turns back to see the very annoyed and red-face dance instructor staring him down like a wolf looking down at their prey. He presses his lips into a thin line and sighs angrily as he begins to yell at Kun. 

“KUN, WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU TODAY? YOU ARE A HOT MESS TODAY. YOU NEVER MAKE THESE KINDS OF MISTAKES”!

Kun’s eyes burn as he picks at his lips with his teeth roughly. He could see the eyes of the other members staring at him intensely. 

“LISTEN, I KNOW YOU ARE STRESS OUT BUT COME ON! YOU ARE NOT ONLY THE LEADER, YOU ARE THE OLDEST. EVERYONE HERE LOOKS UP TO YOU. WHAT EXAMPLE ARE YOU SETTING FOR THEM”?

Kun clenches and unclenches his fists as he hugs himself, trying to give himself some sort of comfort. Sicheng steps out of line and he clears his throat nervously when the attention directs to him. 

“Sir, I’m sorry, b-but he's really trying his b-”, Sicheng stutters as he tries to defend the oldest. Kun felt a mix of pride and fear. He was proud of him for being brave and speaking up. He was terrified for him because the younger could get yelled at for his impromptu gallantry. 

And Kun was unfortunately right about the last statement. 

“ENOUGH! SICHENG, GO BACK IN LINE. KUN, YOU ARE BRINGING EVERYONE DOWN WITH YOU. YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO BE IN MY PLACE AND LEADING YOUR PRACTICES BUT INSTEAD YOU ARE TRIPPING OVER YOUR DAMN SHOELACES. NO ONE ELSE HERE IS MESSING UP BUT YOU. GET YOURSELF TOGETHER QIAN. UNDERSTAND”!?!

Kun’s eyes fill with tears as he tries his hardest to not burst into tears right there and then. He tries to blink his tears away as he feels his hands grips the hem of his overly large shirt to stop his shaking hands. 

‘DID YOU HEAR ME QIAN? DO YOU UNDERSTAND”?!? 

He nods as he takes a breath unevenly, trying to drown the growing feeling of defeat eating at him. 

“Y-Y-Yes sir”. 

~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋

Kun rushes out of the practice room, feeling the air cooling against his burning red cheeks. He slumps back heavily and he squats against the wall. He grabs his hair and buries his head into his knees. He feels his lungs restrict a bit as a few tears slipped unwillingly from his eyes. Why is he messing up so much? He keeps on trying his best but nothing is working. All he does is screw up and irritate everyone around him. He could feel began to slip and lose his composure as he took a few deep breaths. 

“No. You can not have an anxiety attack. Not here, you idiot”, he scolds himself harshly as he shakes only runs a hand through his unruly, sweaty hair. He peaks back at the practice room, noticing Xuxi pull something out of his backpack. 

It was the tupperware of Congee that Kun packed for him that morning. 

Xuxi barely looks at Kun’s scribbled note when he simply walks to the trash can and throws it away. 

He felt something get caught in his throat like a sob threatening to rip out of him. A few more tears strung against his face as he engulfs himself closer into his cocoon, not noticing the door open. A hand with a water bottle appeared in front of him. He felt a slightly smaller body slide next to him and squeeze his biceps gently in a comfortable manner. Kun looked up to see Sicheng sitting in front of him in concern. Sicheng and Xiaojun notice the stray tears to the poorly concealed dark circles on Kun’s face, causing them to frown slightly. 

“Gege, are you okay?”, Sicheng says softly as he places the water bottle in Kun’s hands. Kun accepts it gratefully and takes a large sip from it. His mind cleared up a bit as the cool liquid hit his throat. 

“I’m okay”. 

He pauses as he looks at Sicheng guiltily and continues. 

“Are you okay though Chengie? You got in trouble because of me”, he finishes in a whisper as he looks down at his feet. 

Sicheng smiles softly at Kun. 

“Ge, of course, I’m okay! He was being too tough on you!”. 

Kun reaches out and holds Sicheng's hands, weighing them between his own. The sudden guilt and shame hit him like a truck as he looked into the younger’s gentle, dark-brown eyes. 

“Gege’s sorry”, he bleats weakly as he clutches Sicheng’s hands tightly, not aware of the tears dripping down his face onto his lap. He was supposed to be the oldest and here he is crying pathetically in front of his didis. 

Kun felt a hand gently wipe the tears off his face and hug him warmly. Before he could say anything else, Xiaojun spoke quietly next to him, leaning against Kun’s frame. 

“Please don’t cry Kun-Ge. It will be okay”. 

He takes a shaky breath and presses his hands against his eyes, trying to stop the tears waterfalling from his eyes. 

He wishes that he would believe what Xiaojun said.

He really wishes he did.

~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋

Everyone was getting to leave when the manager walked into the practice room. They all immediately stop what they are and greet him. The manager simply raises their hand and looks at Kun menacingly. 

“Kun, we need to talk. The rest of you can leave and go home”. 

Kun could feel everyone look in his direction and rubs his wrist nervously. He nods quietly as he follows the manager out of the practice room and into a cramped meeting room. 

The manager closes the door and leans against the doorframe, sighing deeply as he rubs the bridge of his nose forcefully. Kun sits in the old, creaky office chair as he shakes his leg restlessly. He sighs silently as he nibbles at his bottle lip, his palms sweating. Was he in trouble again? His fingernails dug painfully into his hands as he waited for the manager to speak. 

After a very perilous silence, the manager glares at Kun and speaks up. 

“What is going on between you guys?”

Kun looks at him in confusion. 

“S-S-Sir, I don’t know what you are talking about?”, Kun says hoarsely, swearing at himself when he cracks pathetically yet again. 

The manager huffs angrily as he walks toward and Kun sinks lower into his chair. The manager was a few inches away from Kun when he slammed his hands against the table, causing loud sounds to echo through the room. Kun jumps at the sudden noise. 

“Do not act stupid Qian. Why is everyone complaining about your performance in practice today? Don’t think I didn’t notice the tension between all 7 of you in the car. I don’t know what the fuck is happening but YOU BETTER FIX IT! YOU ARE THE LEADER! I EXPECT FAR MORE FROM YOU. IT’S AFFECTING THE WHOLE DYNAMIC OF THE TEAM AND YOUR PERFORMANCE”, the manager finishes yelling as Kun whimpers quietly, nodding frantically. 

“I-I will sir”. 

“You better or else”. 

The manager walks out of the room and closes the door vehemently, leaving Kun in the room all alone, completely shaken up. 

Kun sighs, rattling from head to toe, as he reaches for his jacket and backpack. He pushes himself out of the chair as he strides forward and opens the door. He is greeted with a vacate hallway. Everyone must have already gone home. Kun feels his phone vibrate as he receives a text from Sicheng. 

~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋

From Dong Sicheng (Winwinnie) :) 

Kun-Ge where are you? Is everything okay?

~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋

He stares at his phone mindlessly and ponders about calling one of the members to ask if they can pick him up. He decided not to, considering they were all mad at him. He sighs heavily as he turns off his phone and pockets it. 

“I’ll just walk home”, he thinks to himself as he pulls out his ID and scans it, watching the light turn green as the doors automatically open, a bitter chill of air slapping Kun in the face. He grinds his teeth and wraps his jacket closer to him as he begins to walk home, only the starry night of Seoul keeping him company. 

~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋

Kun shivers violently as he fumbles with his key. He inserts them into the door as he hears the tell-tale click. He opens the door quickly as he shuffles inside to the warm dorm. He slips off his jacket as he drags himself into the living room, calling out to the other members. The muffled sound of the showers running and hushed voices resound through the rooms. He looked at the time and almost whined feebly. He forgot that he has to make dinner. Tears slightly prickled in his eyes, Kun felt like the walking dead and just wanted to take a warm shower and climb into the safety of his bed, forgetting about everything that happened today. However, he can’t just let the kids starve. He walks into their spacious kitchen and starts to pull out some ingredients. He washes his hands and shakes them dry as he ties an apron around his waist. Kun decided he would make something simple quick since he already came back so late. Exhaustion aches through his veins as he forced his eyes to stay open. Sighing, he picked up a knife and began to chop some carrots as the clock behind him ticked rhythmically with his now dulling headache. 

~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋

After a tension-filled dinner and plenty of glares thrown his direction later, everyone retired to their bedrooms. He wishes Hendery and Xiaojun goodnight as he watches them walk into their respected rooms and close the doors softly. Kun filled up a glass of water and placed it on the counter while he looked for his much-needed painkillers for his headache. 

He cheers quietly when he finds them and places them next to the glass of water as he closes the cabinet softly. His phone undulates against his outer thighs as he pats around for it. He finds it deep in his pocket and pulls out to see the caller. 

“❤️~Taeilie Hyung~❤️”

Kun swipes the bar to the right and accepts the call as he brings the device to his ear. 

“Kun?”

He smiles when he hears Taeil’s gentle voice sing through his ear as he slumps on the kitchen counter. 

“Hi Hyung~”

“Hi! How are you? How come you didn’t text me back earlier Kunnie?”

Kun giggles as he can basically hear his Hyung pouting. He opens the bottle of painkillers as he balances the phone between his ear and shoulder. 

“Sorry Hyungie~, I was at the studio all day. I must have got caught up with practice and all that”. 

He hears Taeil hum lightly as Kun places a pill in his mouth and takes a sip of the water, cringing as he feels the pill slip down his throat. 

“Kun, are you okay? You sound like you have a cold”.  
Kun froze a bit before he composes himself as he places the glass on the counter

“I’m okay Taeilie-Hyung~ My throat was just feeling a little funny”. 

A white lie won’t hurt Taeil if he never finds out about it. He was just tired of worrying enough people for today. 

“Kun you need to take care of yourself, baby!”, Taeil scolds lightly as Kun chuckles. 

“I am taking care of myself Hyung~!”

Another white lie. 

Kun quickly changes the topic as he bites back a little smile growing on his face. He wasn’t sure if it was his hyung’s caring nature or his soft-spoken and kind mannerism, Taeil’s voice alone made him feel so safe and always made any stress he was feeling melt right off his body. 

“Taeil Hyung, are you in the studio?”

He hears Taeil laugh a bit and the sound of a chair creaking in the background. 

“Yeah, I am working on the new composition I was talking about before”. 

Before he could say anything else, he straightened up and felt his elbow collide with the half-empty glass of water he forgot about on the counter. He watches in horror as the glass falls in slow motion and hits the floor loudly, causing it to shatter into multiple pieces. 

“Kun? What’s that noise? Is everything alright?”, Taeil's growing worried voice rings through the receiver of his phone. 

Kun grabs the towel resting on the oven handle as he steps toward the mess. 

“Yeah, I just dropped something on the floor and it broke. Don’t worry! I’m fi-”, Kun says. Suddenly, he slips on the puddle of water and falls forward onto the floor. He threw his hands out to stop his fall, only causing him to fall on top of the glass pieces. He whimpers as he feels the glass pieces cut deeply into his palm. He feels his eyes prickle as he withdraws his hand and watches blood begin to drip from the cut, hissing in pain. 

“Kunnie? Kun? Baby? Hello? What’s wrong?”

Before Kun could come up with a good answer, he heard someone's bedroom door bang violently against the wall. He jumps and stands up to see a very cranky, very sleepy, and very angry Yangyang storming toward his direction. 

“Hyung, I’ll call you back”. 

“Baby, wait wh-”

Kun hangs up the phone as he shoves it hurriedly into his pocket and hides his bleeding hand against his back. 

“Yangyangie, I’m sorry, did I wake you up?”, Kun says nervously as he throws the towel in his hand over the half-cleaned glass pieces on the floor, trying to hide it with his body. 

“Did I wake you up? DID I WAKE YOU UP? SERIOUSLY KUN-GE?”, Yangyang yells as he clenches his fist. 

“Yangyang. Baobei. Please. Gege's sorr-”

“JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE”!, Yangyang screams as he drops the honorifics and shoves Kun slightly. 

Kun felt himself go numb as he felt his back hit the back of the counter. Kun has never seemed the younger so angry before. Yangyang was always smiling about something, following Kun like a baby duck with its mother, and overall a very patient, mischievous, and happy-go-lucky kid. To see him this infuriated honestly both worried and honestly scared Kun shitless. 

Everyone’s doors open at the sound of Yangyang’s yelling as a very perturbed Sicheng and Xiaojun, a sleepy, messy hair Ten, a clueless Xuxi and a wide-awake Hendery stumble into the living room. They see a blotchy red-faced and furious Yangyang towering over a very petrified and paralyzed Kun. 

“Yangyang, why are you yelling”, groans Xuxi sleepily. 

“BECAUSE KUN FUCKING WOKE ME UP”, Yangyang screams as he points at Kun childishly, stomping his feet. 

“Yangyang, watch your language! Kun is still your gege”, Ten scolds softly the younger as he crosses his arms in disappointment, his eyes shifting from Yangyang to Kun. 

“I DON’T GIVE A FUCK”!

Kun ignores the other members' questions and stares as he tries to reason with the youngest member. 

“Yangyang, I’m really sorry. I really am. I just dr-”, says Kun desperately before Yangyang cuts him off angrily once again. 

“STOP WITH THE FUCKING SORRY BULLSHIT. ALL YOU DO IS MESS UP! YOU ARE REASON WHY WE HAD TO KEEP ON STOP PRACTICE ABOUT A THOUSAND TIMES. YOU ARE JUST A BURDEN AND APOLOGIZING DOES SHIT!”, Yangyang bellowed violently at Kun.The latter tries to blink away the building tears that were blinding him.

Sicheng steps forward and grabs Yangyang’s wrist in an eerily calm yet furious manner. 

“Yangyang! That's enough! Ge isn't feeling well. STOP!”

Yangyang jerks his wrist away from Sicheng’s hold as the older man looks at him with widened eyes. He looks back at Kun and continues to berate him. 

“YOU ARE SO DAMN SELFISH. YOU ONLY WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF. NONE OF US HAS SLEPT WELL IN DAYS. WE ARE FUCKING TIRED OF THIS”. 

“Yangyang, I-”

“HOW DID YOU EVEN GET CHOSEN AS A LEADER? YOU ARE WORST LEADER EVER! THEY COULD HAVE CHOSEN ANYONE ELSE BUT WE GOT STUCK WITH YOU”!

The room goes dead silent as everyone freezes. Kun felt his whole body numb as he felt those words stab painfully through his heart. He felt his tears finally spill onto his face as he felt his chest ache. Out of everyone, he never expects his sweet, kind-hearted, joyous Yangyang to spit out those words. Yangyang knew how much he struggles with self-doubt about being WayV’s leader. He was there when Kun fought for them to even be promoted correctly. He stayed up all night with Kun when the latter read some hate comments about Kun's leadership and comforted him. The person who reassured him that he was good enough to lead this team is now the same person who hates his guts. 

Yangyang faces morphs from anger to realization to horror to what he said to the oldest. He tries to walk closer to the oldest, whimpering slightly. 

“Shit, Kun-Gege, I-I didn’t mean that. I-”. 

Kun felt his breathing restrict and his heart pounding dangerously fast as sirens rang loudly in his head. He couldn’t breathe. He has to get out of there. 

He wordlessly stumbles as he tries to walk past them and toward the door. He feels Ten wrap his arms around his torso, stopping him from moving 

“Kun, wait! Please don’t leave!”, Ten begs desperately as Kun struggles in his arms. 

“Ten, please let go of me”.  
“Kun, we can talk about it. Please-”

“Let go of me”. 

“Kun-”

“LET ME FUCKING GO. LEAVE ME ALONE”. Kun screamed hysterically, his voice cracking horribly, as he turned toward Ten with his eyes brimming with tears. He heaves heavily as Ten widens his eyes as he watches Kun in distress. The younger one gasps when Kun pushes him slightly into Xuxi’s arms, the latter’s eyes wide open. Ignoring the multiple protests from the other members, Kun hurriedly puts on his shoes and fumbles with opening the door. He doesn’t look back, slams the door shut and walks into the devouring, chilly winter of Seoul. 

The strong pillar he once proudly built wore on his chest is now completely broken. 

~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋

Kun didn’t know where he was going. He let his instinct lead the way as he shivers. He walked mindlessly for 30 minutes, trying to calm down the inner war going on in him but failing miserably. His tears stung against his face as he chattered his teeth rapidly. He just walked and walked until he found himself in front of a familiar building. 

It was NCT 127’s dorm. 

He knows that he would get into serious trouble if he was caught here. But he couldn’t get himself to give a fuck anymore.

He walks up the stairs and toward the ivy, slightly rusty green door and knocks the door a few times. He hears a few muffled voices talk and silence follows before the door opens, revealing a chocolate brown-haired, tall and muscular man in his early 20’s with deep dimples.

Kun-Hyung! What a surprise! It’s been a while~, Jaehyun exclaimed excitingly, smiling brightly. However, his smile slips when he notices the older swaying side to side and shivering violently with tear tracks staining his now red and blotchy face. Kun chokes back tears. 

“Hyung? Hey, what’s wrong?! Why are you cry-”, Jaehyun grabs his hand gently before he feels something warm and sticky. He turns his hand to see spots of red and blood dripping from Kun’s hand, following a deep cut. He widens his eyes. 

“HYUNG! You’re bleeding! Oh my god! SHIT! What happened? ”Jaehyun rambles as he urges Kun inside, tugging him gently. 

The majority of NCT 127 were in the living room watching a movie together excluding Taeil, who was still in the studio. A few people called out his name brightly until they noticed a heavily-crying Kun who was clutching his chest and Jaehyun supporting him up. 

“Kun? Kun! what’s wrong?”, Yuta said worriedly as he rushed to Kun’s other side and helped Jaehyun guide the Chinese man to the sofa. His eyes widen when he sees the blood drip from Kun’s hand. 

“SHIT! KUN IS BLEEDING! CAN SOMEONE GET A FIRST AID KIT”, Yuta yells as someone behind him nods and rushes to the bathroom. 

Kun couldn’t hear anything past the loud chaotic mess screaming in his head. He choked back tears as sobs were threatening to rip out of him. His heart palpitates sickeningly against his chest.

He felt a warm hand touch his arm gently.

“Kun?”, someone says softly, a nurturing tone behind it. 

Kun looks up and makes out the figure in front of him. Taeyong was crouching in front of him and holding his hand tightly. He was looking into Kun’s watering eyes with such a tender yet concerned look as he rubs comforting strokes up and down his arm. 

Kun finally broke down as he collapsed into Taeyong’s arms, sobbing hysterically into the other leader’s shoulder. He felt Taeyong tighten his grip and pat his back in efforts to comfort him. Kun starts to hyperventilate. He felt like his heart was going to pop out of his chest. Kun felt both hot and cold at the same time as he felt himself slowly losing control, his mind yelling incoherently multiple things at him all at the same time. 

“Hyung, he’s having an anxiety attack”, Jungwoo perturbs, holding a first aid kit in his hand. Taeyong bites his lip anxiously as he turns to Doyoung, who was raking his hand through his fellow 96 line’s hair anxiously, 

“Doyoungie! Call Taeil-Hyung. Tell him there is an emergency”, Taeyong whispers urgently. 

Doyoung nods quickly as he pulls out his phone and walks into his room to talk to Taeil. 

Taeyong turns his attention to the sobbing boy in his arms. Kun felt someone place a hand and place it on their chest and whisper in his ear. 

“Kun, please listen to me okay? Take a few deep breaths with me”, Johnny said gently as Kun nodded. 

He breathes in and out a few times harshly as he felt the calming beat of Johnny’s to the erratic rhythm of his. 

“That’s it. You’re doing great Kun-Hyung. Keep going. It’s okay, we got you”, Donghyuck said as he rake his hand through the elder's unhinged hair. Taeyong rubs the base of Kun’s neck as his shirt is saturated with the younger’s tears. 

Kun breathes a few more times as his breath starts to regulate each time he exhales. His chest felt less tight and he felt his mind start to clear up a bit. He feels a sudden sting from his injured hand and whimpers, trying to remove it from whoever’s hand. However, that said hand tug him and their hand gently rubs circles around his wrist.

“I know it hurts Hyung, I know. I’ll be gentle. I promise”, Mark says softly as he and Jaehyun cleaned and wrapped Kun’s cut hand with a bandage. Kun’s hysterics turn into quiet sobs as he grips onto the back of Taeyong’s shirt. 

“Shhhhh Kun, it’s okay~”, Taeyong cooed as he rocks the younger back and forth smoothly. Taeyong looks when the doorbell rings and a figure walks in hastily into the dorm with a jacket thrown on haphazardly and a look of worry plastered all over his features. Taeyong smiles slightly. 

Kun felt someone crouch right next to him and give him a kiss on the cheek. 

“Kunnie?”

Kun looks up and cries harder as he collapses and buries his face into the chest of the very familiar figure. The aroma of the cinnamon and vanilla filled his nostrils as he claws at the back of the figure’s sweater, scared that if he let’s go, the man would leave and never come back. 

“H-Hyung. I’m so tired. I can’t do this”, Kun says brokenly as he sobs into Taeil’s chest. 

Taeil felt his heartbreak into multiple pieces as he whispered sweet nothings into Kun’s ears, wiping his tears away. He runs his hand through Kun’s hair as he rocks the younger back and forth and comforts him, kissing the bridge of Kun’s nose affectionately. 

A little bit later, Kun falls asleep in Taeil’s arms. Taeil picks up the younger and frowns at how light the Kun has become. Taeil carries him into his bedroom and tucks the sleeping younger into his bed. He sighs as he sits next to him and strokes Kun’s cheek slowly, watching the younger sleep, noting how peaceful Kun looks while sleeping. Taeil didn’t miss the dark circles and horrid eye bags under Kun’s eyes. His once cute, chubby cheeks were now sullen. His hand wrapped in bandages and tear tracks feature his handsome features. He grimaces when the younger whimpers quietly in his sleep. Taeil places his hand on her forehead and watches Kun’s eyebrows unfurrow and relax. He sighs as he gets up to leave, looking back at the younger before he gently closes the door. 

Taeil makes his way to the living room where the rest of the group was. Taeyong was pacing back and forth as the other members watched him with anxious stares and shaking hands. All their attention went to Taeil when they noticed that he walked in. 

“Hyung, how’s Kun Hyung?”, Donghyuck whispers as he rests his head against Mark’s shoulder. 

“He’s sleeping now”, Taeil sighs as he runs a hand through his hair stressfully. 

Yuta sighs sadly as he buries himself further into the couch. 

“Poor Kun. It looks like he hasn’t slept in days”, Doyoung mumbles against Johnny’s arm. 

Taeil furrows his eyebrows as he turns to Taeyong. 

“Taeyong, what happened while I was gone?”

“Hyung, we don’t really know ourselves. We were all watching a movie when Kun arrived. He didn’t say anything. He was just shivering from head to toe and hyperventilating. He started having an anxiety attack and that’s when we called you. One of his hands was also bleeding and there were little glass pieces in the wound. We just managed to calm him down and wrap his hand by the time you arrived”. 

“Hyung I think he walked here”, Jaehyun added quietly as he picked at his nails. 

Taeil rubs his temples as he processes everything he just heard when he realizes something. 

“Wait, did you say there were little glass pieces in his wound?”, Taeil asked.

Mark nodded quickly as he confirmed the oldest questions. 

“Yeah Hyung, it took a while to take them out without hurting Kun Hyung too much. Do you know anything?”

Taeil props himself against the wall as he sighs deeply. 

“I was on the phone with him. and he mentioned he dropped something before he cut the phone suddenly. I think he must cut his hand on whatever he dropped”. He pauses before he continues.  
“He sounded really tired and like he had a cold. I was about to leave and go see him. I guess he beat me to it first”. 

Doyoung looks at him with wide eyes as his eyebrows raised comically into his hairline. 

“That’s why you got here so quickly. You knew something was wrong”! 

“Guilty”, Taeil says as he chuckles bitterly briefly before grimaces. 

Jungwoo's phone suddenly rings loudly through the quiet living room. He looks at the caller and widens his eyes. 

“It’s Xuxi”! 

“Answer it Jungwoo, he might know what’s going on”, Taeyong said as Jungwoo nodded and accepted the call, putting on speaker. The rest of NCT 127 moved closer to hear the conversation. 

“Xuxi! Hel-”

“JUNGWOOHYUNGDOYOUKNOWWHEREKUN-GEIS?”

“Xuxi, slow down! I can’t understand you”!

“HYUNG, DO YOU KNOW WHERE KUN-GE IS?”

“Xuxi, I need you to calm down. Kun-Hyung is here with us. Did he not tell you”?

“NO HYUNG! WE MADE A REALLY BIG MISTAKE AND IT IS OUR FAULT HYUNG. WE DIDN’T MEAN IT”!

Jungwoo looks at the other members in surprise. Johnny leans over Yuta and speaks up. 

“Xuxi? It’s Johnny Hyung. What happened?”

Xuxi sputters incoherently and there was some talking and rumbling in the background when a new voice answered them in a calm yet a melancholy voice

“Hello?”

“Sicheng? Hey, what’s going on with Kun?”, Johnny says gently.

The younger gave out a shaky sigh before he responded

“Kun-Ge and Yangyang got into an argument because Kun was being “too loud” and accidentally woke him up. He said something really bad and Gege got upset and stormed out”. 

“What did Yangyang say, Sicheng Hyung?”, Mark questioned cautiously. 

“He insulted and cursed off Kun-Ge. He called him a bunch of names and called him “the worst leader”, Sicheng trails off quietly. 

Everyone in the room gave audible gasps. They all knew about how hard Kun worked to be where he is today and how much hell he has gone through to even be sleeping in the same dorm as the other 6 members he treasured so sincerly.

“WHAT?!?”, Johnny said angrily as the room went dead silent. Johnny was usually very patient and what you can call a “gentle giant”. An angry Johnny is a scary one, to say the least.

Another voice spoke up on the retriever and it sounded like they were crying prior. 

“T-That's not it Johnny”, Ten said weakly. 

“WHAT DID YOU MEAN THAT’S NOT IT TEN?”. Johnny said in exasperation, clenching his hand, his veins appearing on his arm, now very apparent he was furious. 

Taeil walked over and put his hand on Johnny’s shoulder, giving a look as if saying “please calm down”. Johnny slumps back and glares at the phone fiercely. He squats next to Jungwoo and answers. 

“Ten, it's Taeil Hyung. What else happened?”, Taeil says calmly, rubbing the bridge of his nose irely. 

“H-Hyung. I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it. We were recording today and Kun kept on making mistakes. N-None of us have slept in days and we were so stressed out about the comeback. I yelled at him for no reason Hyung. Even in dance practice, the choreographer yelled at him in front of everyone and we didn’t say anything. We were leaving to go home and we heard the manager scream at him and we didn’t even bother comforting him. We took out our frustrations on Kun for no reason”. 

Taeil grinds his teeth and tilts his head back, trying to keep his emotions at bay. Xuxi’s voice wails through the receiver. 

“HYYYUNG. I MESSED UP SO BADLY. I WASN’T HUNGRY THIS MORNING BECAUSE I WAS STRESSED OUT ABOUT THE RECORDING AND KUN GE WAS JUST TRYING TO COMFORT ME AND I YELLED AT HIM AND I SLAPPED HIS HAND. I HURT HIM HYUNG”!

A small voice whispered something to Xuxi and they could hear Xuxi’s sniffles from a distance. The same small voice spoke up in broken Korean. 

“H-Hello Taeil Hyung?”

Taeil recognized the voice as one of the newest members and part of the youngest in WayV, Xiaojun. 

“Hi, Xiaojun”. 

“Hyung, I-I don’t know if you know. I think Kun-Ge is sick. He kept on massaging his head and coughing. His voice kept on breaking a lot during the recording session. He looked really pale and looked like he was in a lot of pain when I woke him in the morning. He looked really overwhelmed after the choreographer yelled at him so Sicheng-Ge and I went to go check on him and he was crying. H-Hyung I-I’m sorry. I should have d-done more”, Xiaojun whimpers quietly. 

As angry and disquieted Taeil was at the whole situation, he couldn’t blame Xiaojun for trying to help. 

“Xiaojunnie, it's okay. Don’t blame yourself. You did your best”. 

After a few more minutes of conservation with the other members of WayV, Taeil hangs up the phone and crouches onto the floor, digging his palms into his eyes. The rest of the members were silent and had expressions from anger to shock to sadness for Kun. He hears the creak of someone getting up from the couch and Johnny announces that he, Yuta, and Doyoung are heading to the WayV dorm. 

This was a lot worse than he ever expected. 

~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋

Kun fluttered his eyes open and felt his head on something firm underneath him. He blinks his eyes a few times as the smell of cinnamon and vanilla engulfs him, knowing immediately who it was. He sighs contentedly as he snuggles deeper into Taeil’s chest. 

He heard Taeil’s deep giggles as they vibrated against him gently. Taeil bent down and kissed him on his hairline gently. 

“Hi sleepyhead”, Taeil cooed at Kun’s cute puffed up cheeks and messy bed hair. 

Kun mumbles something as his hair tickles under Taeil’s and clings to him like a baby koala. 

“What was that?”, Taeil tries to bite a smile as he pepper kisses Kun’s head, the younger squirming a bit. 

“I’m sorry”, Kun slurs, sleepiness deep in his voice as he rubs his eyes rather roughly. His throat was still a little sore and his muscle ache dully. He groans as he climbs his way up Taeil’s body and cuddles into Taeil’s neck. 

Taeil gently chastises him for rubbing his eyes as he gently moves his hands from them. He felt his heart crack a bit. Even when Kun is in the deepest pits of hell, he will always be the sweet, patient, beautiful Kun everyone has come to know and love. That’s why he fell in love with him in the first place. 

He tilts Kun's case and looks into the latter's chocolate brown, round eyes. He presses his lips against the little mole above his right eye.  
“Why are you sorry baby? ”, Taeil whispers as he tenderly brushes Kun’s hair out of his face. 

Kun's eyes welled up and his chest heaved up and down as he played with Taeil’s little stray hair strands. He starts to spill his emotions. 

“I-I-I don’t know Hyung. I just showed up out of nowhere and created a burden for you and other members. All the WayV members hate me and are mad at me. I f-fought with Yangyang. I know he was just sleepy but it hurt hearing those words. Maybe he’s right. Maybe I am a bad gege and a horrible leade-”. 

Taeil stops his words by kissing him softly on the lips, tasting the saltiness from Kun’s tears. Kun melted against his lips and closed his eyes as they moved their lips in harmony. When they broke their kiss, Taeil thumbed away his tears and kissed him gently on his nose. 

“Don’t say that ever again about yourself Kunnie. I know it's hard. I really do. I know you are tired but you are more than good enough. You are perfect in every way sweetheart. You are not a burden at all to me, the other 127 members, the dreamies, and the other WayV members. You are doing amazing. You know how much the boys love you?

He pauses as he giggles at a few particular memories. 

“Do you know how many times Xuxi excitedly talks about his “favorite gege” every time he has the chance to? Do you know how many times Sicheng has paced around my room in the middle of the night, waiting for your call when we were SMRookies? How Ten came over to the studio earlier last week and bought food because “Kun hasn’t been eating enough lately”? The times I saw Xiaojun outside the practice room, waiting for you to finish up your late-night practice sessions? How Hendery always come to you whenever he needs advice or help? The way Yangyang’s eyes twinkle every time he watches you perform and how looks up to you?”

Kun stays quiet as he plays with Taeil’s moon necklace. It was a birthday gift Kun got for him when they first started dating. Taeil sighs softly as he makes Kun look him in the eyes, his eyes glittering in unshed tears. 

“I love you so much, Kun! WE love you so much Kun, especially those boys”, Taeil whispers, and as he hugs Kun, tucking Kun in the nook of his neck. He runs his hand up and down his back and hums softly. 

Kun tightens his arms around Taeil as he sighs into his neck, whispering "I love you too” into Taeil’s ear. 

He now believes everything he says. He really does. 

~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋

Kun yawns as he dries his hair off. He was feeling a lot better after a good night's sleep and Taeil's sweet reassurances. He smiles at the clothes that Taeil must have laid out freshly on the bed for him. He slips on the overlarge sweater and sweatpants. He grins softly when he smells Taeil’s scent radiating off of the clothing. 

Kun heads over to the kitchen to see Taeyong cooking something over the stove, Mark was talking animatedly about something with Taeil as the latter simply grins softly, taking little sips from his coffee. Taeyong looks up and smiles brightly. 

“Good morning Kun! Come sit down, I made breakfast”, he says as he tugs him around the counter and places Kun down into a chair. Taeyong slides a bowl of oatmeal and a cup of coffee. The younger hops into a chair next to Taeil and the latter pecks Kun’s cheek. 

“Good morning love”, Taeil says tenderly as Kun blushes brightly. 

Taeyong chuckles as he watches Kun feeding Taeil carefully and Taeil looking into his eyes love-stricken. He turns to see Mark turning bright red and avoiding eye contact with anyone as he looks down. He chuckles as he leans his elbows against the counter. 

“Ah, young love”, Taeyong coos at the couple being lovey-dovey with each other. 

“Ew Hyung”, Mark scrunches his nose as he picks up his mug and takes a sip from it. 

Taeyong gives him a deadpanned look and smirks when he looks at Mark. 

“Don’t act like I don't notice you and Donghyuck eye-flirting during practice”, Taeyong says smugly as Mark chokes on his coffee and sputters violently. 

“HYUNG. HE STARTED IT”!

~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋~✽✾✿❀❁❃❋

After breakfast and a little pep talk from Mark and Taeyong, Kun and Taeil walked toward the WayV dorms together. He held onto Taeil’s hand tightly as they watched their footsteps together with every step. They arrive at the WayV dorm shortly and Kun feels his heart palpitate against his chest. 

“Nervous?”, Taeil asks softly as he faces Kun. 

Kun nods as he looks back at Taeil. Taeil smiles as he tucks back Kun’s hair behind his ear and kisses his cheek gently. 

“It will be okay Kunnie”, he smiles gently as he hugs him, making Kun feel safe and invincible.

Taeil kisses him for more time as he bids Kun farewell. Kun watches Taeil walk off and he takes a deep breath. He pulls out his keys and unlocked the door, causing it to swing open. He walks inside and slides off his shoes. He cautiously calls out to see if anyone was home. 

“Hello? Yangyang? Sicheng? Anyone?”

All of a sudden, a large bolt came and crashed into him, knocking the wind out of him. He wheezes and looks down to see Yangyang’s face buried into his shoulder. He hears the younger sob into his sweatshirt as it becomes wet with his tears. He takes his hand through Yangyang’s hair and hugs him tighter, running his hand up and down his back. He tries to comfort the younger as he kisses the top of his head. 

“Yangyangie, Don’t cry~”.

Yangyang looked at him with tears streaming down his face and his nose bright red. He hiccups as he buries himself back into Kun’s shoulder and wails. 

“G-Gege, I’m sorry about what I said yesterday. I really didn’t mean it. I shouldn’t have said any of that stuff”, Yangyang cries and Kun shushes him quietly. 

“It’s okay Yangyang. I forgive you”.

Before he could say anything else though, the other members came and embraced him tightly. 

“I'M SORRY GEGE FOR TREATING YOU SO POORLY”, Xuxi cries loudly into his ear. He heard the members mutter multiple apologies and the group hugging him. He felt his heart clench as he looked at all the boy’s teary eyes and sad expressions. He felt something furry nuzzle against his leg. He looks down to see Louis purring against his leg, almost like saying "Welcome back". 

He didn’t realize he was crying until Ten wiped his face gently and thumbs his tears away. 

“We love you, Kun. Even though we are the worst friends ever”, he jokes at the end but softly pushes Kun’s bangs out of his eyes. 

Kun wetly laughs as he buries his head into Ten’s shoulder. He feels his pocket vibrate pulls out his phone to see a text message from Taeil. He smiles gently as he reads the dimmed screen. 

“You are more than enough ”.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Everyone! I hope everyone is doing okay!
> 
> So while I was on my little "mental break" and needed a break from writing , I actually got the idea of a one-shot and wanted to give it a go. For some reason, I thought this was a great idea while brainstorming for a chapter on my other fanfic. I am so sorry if this is bad or seems rushed. This fanfic was another one my 4am coffee thoughts and my last braincell communicating anything coherent to me. Constructive criticisms and tips would be greatly appreciated.
> 
> Now with that being said, I have another story to go back to and write ;) Until the next one! 
> 
> K U N I L R I S E.
> 
> Thank you for reading my story!  
> \- ASC ❀◐⌣◐


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